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What is a True Lie? It's a "Bald Face Lie" that was told as the Truth! The following is one account of a real lie told by the Ugly Otter, and the other is a real lie that was told to the Ugly Otter (and his Beautiful Wife)
Background: The Ugly Otter migrated to New Mexico a little over 25 years ago from Missouri, where, as we all know, there are no big mountains or deserts like the ones in New Mexico. That was one of the main reasons he moved there, for the Southwestern Deserts, the Mountains, and the delightful people. Having recently retired, he decided to pack up and move to that beautiful place.
After being in New Mexico for a while, he, on occasion, would write letters to his friends and relatives he had left behind in Missouri describing his new life in that new place. So, one day, feeling frisky, he wrote the following letter and sent it to about a dozen people he had left behind. It went something like this. The big lie told by the Ugly Otter:
"Hello, everyone, I just had a new experience that I've gotta tell you about. My dog "Bear" and I were out hiking the other day and suddenly there was a flash of dark! Everything just went dark for a split second. I thought something was wrong with my eyes! After awhile, it happened again. Dark flash. Dark flash. Then absolute silence for a second or so. I was really getting worried that my eyesight was going bad when I met an old-time resident of the area and told him what I was experiencing. He laughed and said "Not to worry, it's just a negative thunderstorm coming in".
I asked him what was a "negative thunderstorm", and he said that due to the way the air currents pass over the deserts, then hit the mountains, it sometimes causes these freak thunderstorms. Instead of the typical flash of lightning in a normal thunderstorm, these "negative storms" caused a flash of dark instead of light. Also, after one of these dark flashes, instead of hearing thunder, there will be total silence for a second or two. Really strange. In addition, instead of normally cold snow, these negative storms could sometimes cause a warm snow.
As it so happened, I have a friend named "Joe" who lives up in the mountains near the town of Reserve, New Mexico, and he called me that night and told me that as he was going home from town that same day, he got caught in that same "negative thunderstorm" in his old van. He said that the harder it snowed, the warmer it got. His air conditioner did not work, so he had to drive with the windows down because of the heat. That warm show came in thru the open windows something terrible and he about suffocated from the heat. Finally, he had to stop and shovel some of that snow out of the van, it was so hot in there".
Now, the crazy thing about this lying letter, is that four or five people I sent it to took it as fact. They believed it (knowing the inherent honesty of the Ugly Otter, of course). So 'Ol Ugly had to 'fess up and tell them the whole thing was not true. I lost some credibility with a few friends that time, but that's what happens when lies are told! To this day, when we go back to Missouri to visit, someone is apt to ask me (with a grin on their face) "Been in any more negative storms lately?"
The lie told to the Ugly Otter (And his Beautiful Wife)
This lie is a very cute lie, and we knew it for what it was when it was told. But, it stuck in our memory, so we will repeat it here:
The Ugly Otter (and his Beautiful Wife) was traveling around one day looking for who knows what, and ended up in the small town of Presidio, Texas. Presidio, Texas is right on the Rio Grande, in the Chihuahua Desert, just across the river from the city of Ojinaga, Mexico. It is sometime mentioned on weather reports as the hottest place in the U.S. in summer time. We found a motel in Presidio, and spent the night. The next day we found a local older gentleman who spoke Spanish and who agreed to escort us in his beat-up station wagon and to act as our "guide" to visit the city across the border. He took us across, and waited while we visited various shops, and saw all we wanted to see in that part of the city. He then drove us around, pointing out the local landmarks - the bull fighting ring, city hall, nice houses, etc.
When we had seen all we wanted to see in Ojinaga, he drove us back across the border and was showing us around Presidio. The area was exceedingly dry, and we remarked on that to him. Without irrigation, no crops could live. He drove us out into the desert and pulled a few young ocotillo cactus plants for us to take home with us. While there, he told us that about the only plants surviving were cacti, that it had not rained a drop for over two years. Then, with a straight face, he told us "Last winter it did snow about 1/2", but it was so dry we had to sweep it up and burn it". We expressed sympathy over this, also with a straight face. He was a nice old gentleman, and if we ever go back to Presidio, we would like to hunt him up. But, we never believed his story about the snow. He thought he had really put one over on the "Gringos". Had I been thinking, I would have told him about the "Negative Thunderstorm" that I had experienced a few years earlier up by Albuquerque.
End of Lies.
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